Dawson

Dawson is a former mill worker and a current mattress mover in phult0n as well as a member of The Mild Hogs. He was originally friends with Ball Fondling B and was a coworker of Kusz. He is well known for his extreme libido as well as his often vulgar catchphrases. He's also known by the nickname 'Daughty' by his closest friends. He fell under the spell of The Hefty Whore of Hillsdale from the north but was able to shake off her influence. Since then he has tried to make better life decisions such as briefly dating a normal sized woman and moving into a new home with his dog Zeus. The house in question is somewhat rundown, presumably inhabited by some form of house sprite, and may contain a doorway to another world, none of which Dawson knows how to handle.

He has had a long list of career changes in order to fund his expensive hobbies. He generally took up these hobbies in order to meet and impress women so he could bang them. He seems to have a preference for blondes as their ditzy personalities make them more susceptible to his flirtation. Despite this preference Dawson has seems to have changed his mind and shacked up with a dark haired woman. His catchphrases are known to include
 * “Hells Bells”
 * “Shit the bed Fred”
 * I wanna rail the shit out of her”
 * ”Well fuck me”
 * "Well fuck me in the ass"
 * "Drives me up a damn wall"