The Fateful Bonfire

The Fateful Bonfire refers to a particular incident in Phult0n where members of the Asexual Book Club faced off with the P.P.D. The fallout from the incident affected several notable Phult0n residents, resulting in broken friendships, shifts in power, and rivalries being formed.

The incident started off with the Asexual Book Club including Paige, Dawson, Yeshua,Line, Noah, and Ball Fondling B meeting at the local fishing hole for steaks. After eating, the group ( minus Noah) headed back to Dawson’s for a bonfire where they planned to engage in that cherished Phult0n tradition of tipping back the bottle with good company. However before they could begin, Ball Crushing A was tipped off to Paige’s presence and fearing her son would be seduce by the country seductress, ordered him home at once. At first B seemed ready to finally rebel against his mother but after cooling down decided to again follow her commands. He promptly left, leaving his friends to contemplate what his punishment for having passed puberty would be.

In an effort to take their minds of things they resolved to have a few drinks around the fire. A few drinks turned into many and they promptly became “shit faced” after which they retired for the night in Dawson’s camper. While this was happening B had returned home and in an effort to once again gain his matron’s favor, he spilled his guts on his friends plans. Ball Crushing A saw a chance to immediately eliminate Paige as her rival as well as any other threat to her son’s sobriety. She contacted Roy Mueller to inform him of the gathering and he in turn sent the trusty, truncheon swinging trooper, Helen Buzzkill to restore law and order.

Helen arrived to find the rowdy scene of a smoldering fire and sleeping teens, who she promptly awoke and proceeded to interrogate, while waiting for her K-9 unit for backup. Fortunately for the Asexual Book Club it was at this point that other police units managed to pinpoint the location of the local killer Jim Curly. Due to the negative public opinion on the handling of the killings, Helen was called off to provide backup during the takedown of Curly in order to protect the department’s image.

In the aftermath of the incident The Asexual Book Club cut contact with B as a result of the part he played. Without friends to turn to B was completely subjugated to his mother’s control, relinquishing the small amount of freewill he had. Helen was upset by not being able to bring down the group and has started to view them as the one that got away.