Jakob’s Missing Testicle

At some point Jakob HandStrength lost one of his testicles through mysterious circumstances. The testicle in question was thrown into the garbage and taken to the land fill. However while it was enroute to the dump, the truck was forced to make a sudden stop which caused the gonad to be launched into a nearby creek where it was swept away. Due to the ball coming from Jakob’s manly sack it couldn’t rot or decompose like normal tissue. As a result it became lost somewhere in the Phult0n countryside where it continued to produce massive amounts of Jake’s hormones. These hormones seeped into the groundwater and contaminated the local flora and fauna. As a result crops in that area of Phult0n are fully grown within a week of being planted. The local raccoons and possums of the area grow to an unnatural size and strength, roughly the size of a golden retriever. They’re strength and endurance make them impervious to all but high caliber rounds. No one knows where exactly the testy is but it is said that the person who finds it will have the strength, courage, and charm of between 8-9 men.